Chapter 3 - Nick, Friday

“I know he’s my brother, but that doesn’t stop him being a complete cunt!”
“What’s he done now?”
“Oh, the usual - getting sneery about my work. Who does he think he is? Working in that stupid office is hardly making the world a better place”
“Just ignore him, he only does it to annoy you. You know that. I don’t know why you let him upset you like this. Do you want those chips?
“No, they’re cold. I want pudding”
“What do you want?”
“Besides a brother who’s less of a twat and a mother who actually likes me? Something with custard. The stodgier the better”
“Mmmm, I like the sound of that. Now, what are the chances of getting the waiters attention without actually having to flash my tits at him?”

Jenny was a relatively new friend in comparison to all my others, but we’d got really close quite quickly, and as we worked near each other we saw quite a bit of each other, particularly in the daytime if neither of us were working. Tonight we’d met for a meal in the local pub as we’d both been unexpectedly busy and hadn’t caught up all week. She was fitting me in between work and an evening with her boyfriend. I was fitting her in between Richard & Judy and a repeat of Friends, Friday being my day off this week and ‘boyfriend’ being a dirty word.
I’d made the mistake of talking to my brother in the afternoon, which is why I was ranting and raving at her. I know it’s a mistake to call him at the office, but it’s the only place I know he’ll answer the phone so I risked it. Of course I got the usual lecture about taking personal calls at work, because he’s so important, but how would I know working in a supermarket as I do. Oh fuck off. You sell crap, it hardly makes you Nelson Mandela! What makes it worse is that our mother silently agrees with him, although what gives that cow the right to judge me is anyone’s guess. Family!

“So what you doing this weekend?”
“Not much I don’t think. Working tomorrow. Oh, but Brenda invited me to go to a gay club with some of the boys from work.”
“Brenda? Which one’s Brenda?”
“Kathy. Brenda’s just a nickname the boys gave her, and somehow it stuck.”
“You gonna go?”
“I’m not sure I can be bothered. They’re a nice enough bunch but I am their supervisor and I think they keep me at a distance a bit.”
“You should go, might be fun”
“We’ll see. What about you?”
“I just want to catch up with Tim, I feel like we’ve hardly had five minutes together this week.”

I knew I wasn’t going to go out on Saturday. It wasn’t the others who kept me at a distance, it was me. I found my new responsibility awkward and hadn’t worked out a way to get comfortable with it. I felt like they were laughing at me behind my back, which they probably were - they laughed at everyone. Even Brenda’s nickname had started out as an unpleasant joke, which was ironic considering how quickly she embraced it. Of course going out and getting pissed with them might have actually broken the ice but I think I’ve gone too far with the no thing to change my mind without looking stupid. They seem to go every week so maybe I’ll go next time.

“How is Tim?”
“Busy. He’s been away this week with work, so apart from a few texts we’ve not really been in touch.”
“How’s it going?”
“Hard to tell. He seems interested but then he forgets to phone for a few days and just when I’ve assumed he’s changed his mind about me he rings. But it’s early days so I’m trying not to think too much about it. Although obviously I am! Did I tell you I got asked out on a date?”
“No! Who?”
“Oh it’s just a guy from work, different department as me so he probably hadn’t heard that I was dating already. I was tempted to say ‘yes’. Still might.”
“You’re a dark horse!”
“Well it’s too early to say if Tim is going to turn into anything serious, so why not?”
“God, I wish I had them queuing up for me!”

That was a lie, as Jenny knew well, which is why she only smiled in response. In truth I was off men for a bit. Especially after the Dan episode. Need to lick my wounds. And save up the cash he took with him. Never mix friends and money - when will I ever learn that? Mum took great pleasure in lecturing me about that as well. You’d think she’d be a bit more sympathetic about the whole thing, but I guess as long as I’m not Simon she’ll always be disappointed in me. Silly cow.

“Do you think that waiter’s ever coming back with the pudding?”
“Not while there are young girls to chat up.”
“Oh don’t be so bitter! He’s a waiter, he’s supposed to flirt with people.”
“Well he didn’t flirt with me!”
“You were too wrapped up in your Simon rage to be charming, he was probably scared!”
“Perhaps we should get the bill when he comes back as well?”
“What’s your rush? Good episode of Casualty on or something?”
“Fuck off you cheeky cow.”

She had a point. What was the rush? I’d not yet succumbed to a cat so I hardly needed rush home. And I’d set the video for Holby City as I knew Jenny would keep me out later than I’d planned, but she was only saying it for effect - she’d been checking her watch secretly for the last half an hour, no doubt keen to get round to Tim’s. She’s always like this at the start - keen as mustard, trying to play it cool, always on a state of alert in case he phoned . I don’t blame her, I’d be the same. And for once Tim actually seems like a nice guy. Pretty handsome too, although he’s a bit short for my liking.

“How much tip?”
“Must we? I’m a bit short this week, and besides he was really slow.”
“You mean he didn’t smile and flirt with you.”
“So? I just felt he was a little brisk.”
“OK, I’ll leave it, he smiled at me.”
“Now I feel mean.”
“So you should you miserable git!”

She was joking of course, although she did have a point. I hate that automatic tipping, and is it my imagination or is service getting even worse than it already was? Still, she can afford the tip so I’ll let her leave it. It was nice to see her, she always makes me feel more like myself . While she went to the loo I absentmindedly fiddled with the salt and peppers, slyly looking at the people on the neighbouring tables: couple, couple, family, date, hen night. Time to leave before they get really rowdy.
Jenny came back, grabbed her jacket and we headed for the door. We stood dithering outside trying to decide what to do next. We were debating the relative merits of the local coffee shop or drink in another pub when Jenny’s mobile rang. As soon as she answered it I could tell it was Tim, as she turned away from me and lowered her voice. I turned the other way and feigned interest in the contents of the charity shop window, taking care not to stroll too far away in case I missed something interesting. I could tell from the snippets I could hear that any plans to make our evening last a little longer were about to be abruptly changed, and for a moment I felt sad.
The first thing she said when she finished her call was sorry, and I knew she wasn’t apologising for taking the call. She invited me to join her and Tim for a drink, but I wasn’t in the mood to tag along with the happy couple, so I made my excuses and left her to it.

No messages. There’s a surprise. Actually it was. Even after all this time I still expect to come home and find one from Dan, saying how sorry he is and could he come back. A small part of my brain somewhere understands that this is never going to happen, and that it’s a good job too, but I’m still at that stage where I hope it might. I’m not giving myself any grief about it - these things take time, and it’s not like I’m a rush is it?
So, how to spend the rest of the evening. TV? A DVD? A book and bed? The computer? Or maybe some porn…