Chapter 30 - five months later (part 2)

Dave.

Dave found himself without a flatmate much quicker than he’d expected. Danny and Todd realised that it was silly to spend so much time hiding in Danny’s room when Todd had a whole house of his own, and after a few nights there they realised they were getting on so well that they might as well move in together. Dave missed having them round the house - he found Danny a calming influence, and it was always nice to find someone else in the flat after a busy night out. And he’d grown to like Todd too, and not just because of his habit of walking round all day with no shirt on, regardless of the weather or who else was in the flat. He had a sly wit that Dave appreciated, and quickly learnt that Dave didn’t mind if he took the piss out of him. Dave still saw them though, and even went round for dinner a couple of times. The house was lovely - an Edwardian semi with high ceilings and original floorboards. Danny looked perfectly at home there, and quickly made the kitchen his own.
Dave rattled around the flat on his own for a couple of weeks, then realised he’d started spending increasing amounts of time away from it, because he didn’t like being there on his own. So one day, without really thinking about it, he invited Simon to move in. He knew he wasn’t happy where he was, and thought the company would do them both some good. They’d been seeing quite a lot of each other anyway, so it made sense. Simon agreed, although typically for him he had to go away and think about it. But everyone agreed it was a good idea, so one Sunday they borrowed a van and shifted Simon’s stuff .
They’d shared a house together at college, and for a little while afterwards, so they were already familiar enough with each others habits to get on pretty easily. It helped that Simon wasn’t working, because he wasn’t in Dave’s way when he was trying to get ready for work, then he had the whole day to potter round to his heart’s content until Simon came back of an evening. They got on well, and people were soon joking that they were like a married couple, which Dave found slightly less amusing as he still had hopes of finding a boyfriend.
He continued his search for Mr Right, although he never seemed to get beyond the first date with anyone. He knew he was looking in the wrong places - gyms and clubs were hardly the ideal place to look for love - but he enjoyed them, and always had fun with the guys he went home with. He even went speed-dating with Nick one night, although both of them agreed that the other was the nicest person there. So they had a slightly drunken experimental snog, then agreed that it should never happen again. He half wondered if he should get together with Simon, but decided that was a very bad idea.
Much to everyone’s surprise his sister became pregnant again. It wasn’t planned, but both her and her husband were really excited about having another baby in the house again, as the girls were now getting fairly independent and would happy get on with their own stuff and ignore their parents. But she developed dangerously high blood pressure and had to give up work and stay at home resting. It drove her mad, so Dave spent a lot of time round there, gossiping with her or taking the girls out so she could have some peace. It made him realise how much he missed having a family, although he realised he couldn’t always look after himself, let alone another human being. Or even a cat for that matter.
And thankfully things at work were fine. They scraped through the audit, narrowly avoiding getting a fine. The Board were so relieved that he’d turned things round since the previous year that they gave him a generous pay rise and a PA all of his own, which made thing much easier round the office.
He had his 38th birthday and surprised everyone by giving up smoking, then surprised himself even more by taking up golf. People started to wonder if he was growing up at last, but he knew the truth!

Jim.

Maria never came back, in fact she made Jim promise never to contact her again. The letter had been the final straw, and even he realised it was a pretty stupid thing to do. But it helped him get her out of his system, and he soon stopped having dreams in which she came back to him and they lived happily ever after. The only other person in his life was Basil the cat, who seemed to forgive him for scaring Maria away and got in the habit of greeting him at the door when he came back from work.
A few people Jim worked with tried to set him up with single women, and although he went on a few dates he never slept with any of them and never saw most of them again. A few of them wondered out loud if he might be gay - single man, living alone with a cat, spending most of his time with other men - you can see why they would, but uniquely amongst his friends he was definitely straight. He just needed some time for himself, some time to recover and work out what he wanted next.
In the meantime he renewed some of his friendships - he spent a bit of time with Nick, who he found incredibly easy to get on with. Sometimes they swam together, and when they discovered a shared love of silent films they spent a few evenings watching those. He was so easy to get on with, even when they weren’t smoking, and the cat certainly enjoyed the extra company.
He tried to see more of Simon, and they’d tried to get out for a drink once a week at least. And once he moved in with Dave it meant Jim saw a lot more of him too, which was fun. He even managed to persuade him to take up golf, although neither of them could quite work out how or why it happened. Luckily they resisted the plaid trousers and bright jumpers.

The others.

Brenda stayed at the supermarket, and started going out more with the other staff. Not just clubbing with the gay boys, but pubs and stuff with the other girls and whoever happened to be up for it. Then a new Bakery Manger arrived and she was smitten. After a couple of weeks of staring at him across the canteen Nick persuaded her to invite him to the pub as it was one of the girl’s leaving do. He accepted, and Brenda spent the whole evening chatting too him. Although he wasn’t exactly her type he made her smile, and more importantly made her cake. She soon found herself daydreaming about wedding cake.
Big Ben stayed in Brighton after his romance fell apart. He gave up working in supermarkets and started working in gay bars, which had the benefit of getting admiring glances from the punters and pretty much first pick of anyone cute who came into the pub. He had a short-lived affair with the landlord of one place, but he beat him up when he discovered he’d been unfaithful, so he moved on, older and wiser.
Other Ben soon got sick of working in supermarkets and struggling with his college work, so he gave it all up and got a full time job in a bookshop. He was instantly much happier. Once he got over his crush on Big Ben he realised that actually he might be straight, and spent many an evening discovering for himself with a succession of women he picked up in Modern Fiction.
Simon’s flatmate John was a figment of his imagination.

The End.

Chapter 29 - 5 months later (part 1)

Simon.

Simon took Nick’s advice and went to see his GP the following day, where he added the waiting room and consulting room to the list of places he’d burst into tears in. the doctor listened as he explained everything that had happened to him - getting beaten up (he omitted to tell him the circumstances, which was probably a mistake as it might have helped him understand what was going on a little better); the situation at work; the shoplifting. The doctor was certain Simon was depressed, and possibly on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so he signed him off work for two weeks, and gave him a course of anti-depressants. Then he told Simon to go home and get as much rest as he could, and to talk about what had happened to somebody. At first Simon thought he meant friends and family, which was literally his idea of hell, but Nick suggested a counsellor of some kind, and thanks to his occupational health scheme Simon started seeing one a week later.
Of course he had to explain to his Mum why he was off work, and as predicted she took it badly - what would the neighbours think? She suggested she might have to move if his case got into the papers, which annoyed him so much he found himself telling her he thought he might be gay. Of course she blamed Nick for putting the idea in his head, and then proceeded to phone him and tell him exactly that. Everyone else agreed his honesty had been a good thing, although it took his mother three weeks to speak to him after he’d told her. By that time he’d gotten a much more positive reaction from other people that he was better able to stand up to her.
Shortly after that he took voluntary redundancy from work. It would have been difficult for them to make him redundant whilst he was off sick, and expensive to provide cover for his job while he was being paid, so they had a meeting and agreed a generous settlement, including a further year’s health cover, which everyone hoped would see him back to full health. As soon as the papers were signed he felt much better and smiled as he left the building for the last time.
He quickly developed a new routine, and found himself able to sleep late for the first time since he was a teenager. Encouraged by Nick he started swimming, and even joined Dave at the gym a few times. He ate better and felt better in general. His counsellor was pleased with his progress, but even she couldn’t do anything to put off the inevitable - the court case.
He found himself in the local magistrate’s court on a Monday afternoon, represented by a lawyer appointed by the court. He admitted the offence and was in and out of court quite quickly, getting a fine and having to pay compensation, as well as some community service hours. Everyone agreed that the sentencing was fair, and it only warranted three lines in the local paper. His mother didn’t attend court - she took herself off to the seaside for the week, unable to face the shame of it. Nick, Dave and Jim all turned up, each of them prepared to be character witnesses if necessary, but it never came to that. A letter from Simon’s counsellor was enough to ensure leniency.
Simon took it surprisingly well - it was a relief to bring that chapter of his life to an end. The money wasn’t a problem thanks to his redundancy payout, and the community service could easily be fitted into his day as he had plenty of free time. He even began to look forward to it.
After two months he moved out of the flat and in with Dave, who suddenly found himself without a flatmate. They’d shared at college, and quickly fell into their old routines. Dave was good for Simon - he encouraged him to be more outgoing and have more fun, whilst Simon reminded Dave to pay the bills and eat occasionally. They quickly became like a married couple, and people in the supermarket often assumed they were an item, which frustrated Dave as it stopped him pulling, but amused Simon no end.
Once he was settled Simon even got in contact with his father. Of course his Mum was furious, but thanks to Nick the meeting went surprisingly smoothly, and although father and son were wary of each other at least the ice was broken.
He saw a lot more of Jim and Nick, and started to look more his age. There was no immediate need to return to work, so he looked into some courses, but before it began he surprised everyone - including himself - by taking a holiday to Amsterdam. And whilst he wasn’t brave enough to venture into a café for a spliff he came back looking more relaxed than anyone could remember.

Nick.

Nick and Big Ben became an item very quickly, in the way that gay men often do. They became inseparable, spending loads of time together when they weren’t working or Ben wasn’t at college. They were very careful not to spend too much time chatting at work, which amused their colleagues no end, although Ben was so hurt by the whole thing he wouldn’t speak to either of them and left for a rival store when he couldn’t stand it any longer. Nick’s friends teased him about his toy boy, and Ben’s teased him about his Daddy. But it couldn’t last - Nick really was old enough to be his father and wanted very different things from life . As much as he enjoyed late nights clubbing it was the quiet mornings together that he enjoyed the most, whereas Ben found them claustrophobic and preferred to be out in a crowd. In the end it finished as casually as it began - one night Ben simply never turned up, and a couple of days later he texted Nick to say he’d met someone new and was moving to Brighton.
But Nick didn’t mind, as he’d started to enjoy spending more time with Simon, Dave and Jim. Amazingly Simon’s troubles had brought them back together as a group, and they could often be found out drinking together in the week. And he started going clubbing with Dave occasionally, an was happy to end up chatting to him in a late night bar if neither of them had pulled. There was a drunken snog one evening, but both of them realised that they made good friends and anything else would just spoil the group dynamic, which they’d both come to enjoy.
He finally gave up his NVQ course, preferring to quit before they threw him off it. He freely admitted that he had no ambition, and that for the time being working in a supermarket was exactly what he wanted to do. His tutors weren’t surprised, and nobody at work cared - there was always some other eager trainee waiting to fill his place.
Thing with his mother improved as well. Once she stopped blaming him for Simon being gay things got back to how they had been. And then after Simon’s court appearance, once his downfall was complete, she became friendlier still. She stopped holding Simon up as the shining example he’d never been, and realised that there wasn’t actually much difference between her sons, and that it wasn’t their fault that they weren’t the daughter she so desperately wanted. She was annoyed when Nick encouraged Simon to see his father again, but she realised there was nothing she could do about it and stopped complaining. She started inviting both Nick and Simon to Sunday tea, and Nick was surprisingly pleased to go.
After Ben there were a few one night stand, but no one serious. He tried speed-dating and realised that he liked dating but wasn’t very good at what came afterwards. He was briefly tempted to blame it on his parents divorce, until Simon pointed out that they’d been fully formed adults at that point and it was just a cop pout. His counselling was rubbing off on him and he was getting annoyingly perceptive about things!
So he decided to get a cat. It had been inevitable really, but then one night they’d ended up back at Jim’s and the cat had taken a real shine to him. Whilst he hissed and hid from Dave and Simon he couldn’t get enough of Nick, rubbing against his leg as he sat on the sofa, jumping on his lap, even trying to sit on his shoulder. Nick fell in love with him and the following day started asking round work to see if anyone knew of ant kittens for sale. The following week he found himself with a ginger kitten, which he christened Charlie. His friends made fun of the whole gay bachelor with a cat thing, but he didn’t care - he just liked having someone to come home to who wasn’t mad or overly needy. A tin of food and the odd stroke and the cat was happy, not like some high maintenance boyfriend!
And that would have been that except he took the cat to the vets to have some jabs, and before he knew it he fell in love with the vet. Not just a pathetic crush, or a stalking type of situation, it was reciprocated. He was so stupidly handsome he might as well have come out of a Barbara Cartland novel, and once Nick got over the fact that he was clearly too good for him he started enjoying been seen around with him. He had high hopes, but didn’t like to jinx anything by saying them out loud.

Chapter 28 - Nick, Thursday

Well, that’s got to be the most awkward birthday tea I’ve ever been to, which, considering our family’s track record for these kind of things is really saying something!
I’d not been looking forward to it anyway - why would I? A whole meal of Mum celebrating her favourite? Dear God, it’s my idea of hell! If I could have gotten out of it I would, but it was a summons not an invite, and in the end it was easier to go than to make a fuss.

I had to rush to get there in time as it was, because I’d been working all day - a long shift as well, so I’d been on my feet all day. The only bonus was the arrival of Big Ben at 3pm, closely followed by a grinning Brenda a couple of minutes later. Word certainly gets around, although I’d not told her so I guess Big Ben did. I hope he didn’t tell Ben, but I expect it won’t take long for him to find out. I’m surprised he wasn’t working today - they usually do the same shifts, but I guess he had something better to do.
I didn’t really get much time to talk to either of them, just snatched conversations as I was swanning round with my clipboard. Nothing serious. I didn’t even get chance arrange when I’d see Ben next, which was annoying as I really want to see him again! I’ve got a bit giddy about the whole thing, which was completely unexpected.
I’d just finished my shift and was in the staff room changing to go over Mum’s when my phone rang. It was Dave, which took me by surprise as I haven’t seen him or heard from him in ages. We never really were phone friends, more just pub friends, so it took me by surprise. But not as much as the news he gave me - our Simon was arrested for shoplifting, and not only that he’d been queer-bashed whilst out cottaging. Fucking hell, I bet he was having a shit birthday. My God, what will Mum say?

I raced round to Mum’s and ended up getting there before Simon. Mum and I sat around making idle conversation, whilst she kept checking her watch and wondering where he was. It was very unlike him to be late, but of course she didn’t realise he had good reason to be. I couldn’t really say anything without giving away the fact I knew, so I just nodded and agreed that it was very unlike him to be late, especially on his birthday.
As soon as he turned up I could tell something was wrong - he was distracted and fidgety, and wasn’t looking anyone in the eye. I don’t think he knew I knew, and if he did he certainly never acknowledged it. Mum greeted him with open arms, a big hug and a quick chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’. I joined in as well, because it would have been a little conspicuous if I hadn’t. Then we went into the dining room to eat.
If I’d not known better I’d have thought it was a child’s birthday - plates full of sandwiches, a cake with candles, even trifle! Just the kind of birthday party we had when we were eight, do you think she’s not noticed that we’ve grown up in the meantime?
Simon sat behind a pile of presents, onto the top of which I added mine. He just looked at them until Mum prompted him to open them:
“They’re for you, open them or I’ll do it for you!”
She never lost her excitement for gifts - if only she’d retained it for other areas of her life.
My gift was first, and I could tell by the way Simon looked at it that it wasn’t his type of thing at all. Normally I might have given him a hard time for not liking it, but today wasn’t the day for that, so I just said the receipt was in the pocket if it was the wrong size. I expect he’ll exchange it for something plainer, which is a pity as it’s lovely!
Then Mum’s gifts - a jumper that Dad might like, but which a 38 year old should never be seen in - I expect Simon will wear it lots. A book that he must have told Mum he wanted, and a box of his favourite sweets. He started to say thank you, but the words stuck in his throat, and before I realised what was happening he’d burst into tears. Mum looked at me to see if I had a clue what was going on, then reached across the table and stroked his hand.
“What’s the matter love, do you not like your presents?”
Trust Mum to get the complete wrong end of the stick! Still, it made Simon smile briefly.
“No Mum, the gifts are great, I’ve just had a really bad day. I’m just being silly.”
Now Mum was confused, so she poured a cup of tea and passed round the sandwiches. I had to hand it to Simon, he covered it up really well - he wiped his face and was soon tucking into sandwiches as if they were the best meal he’d ever had. He wasn’t that chatty, which forced Mum to turn her attention to me. We talked vaguely about work - I played up my NVQ, as if it was a passport to a job in management, and generally made working in a supermarket sound far more fantastic than it actually is.
Then Mum served up the trifle, always a speciality of hers when we were kids, and her skill apparently hadn’t deserted her. I indulged my sweet tooth and had two bowl fulls - well, it’s not everyday you get homemade trifle is it! Then it was time for the cake - Mum lit half a dozen candles and we sang another chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ before Simon blew them out. He gave a sad little smile when as he did, so I guess he was following the tradition of making a wish as they went out. No prizes for guessing what he was wishing for. I felt really sorry for him.
Cake over we helped Mum clear the table - I washed, Simon wiped up - just as we used to do as children. Mum made another cup of tea, and we sat rather awkwardly in the living room. I kept wondering if Simon was going to tell her, but it seemed pretty obvious that he wasn’t. But at least it would explain why we’d had such an odd evening - knowing Mum she’ll be thinking it’s all her fault. I guess she’ll realise once he tells her, but I wonder how long that’ll take?
Eventually Simon said it was time for him to go, so I said I’d walk to the bus with him. Mum kissed him goodbye, then did the same to me - not something we’d normally do, but I think she felt guilty about showing her favouritism so clearly. She put all his presents in a bag, and cut us each a piece of cake, then waved goodbye from the living room window as we headed down the road.
“Dave rang me”
Silence.
“I know what happened today.”
More silence.
“But if you don’t want to talk about it that’s okay with me.”
More silence. This was becoming annoying.
“Okay, fine, suit yourself. I don’t know why I bother.”
I stopped. He stopped too. He stood there, waiting for each other to speak. He got there first.
“You really hate me don’t you.”
“When you behave like a twat yes, but you’re my brother so I can’t hate you for long.”
“I’d hate me. I’m a twat.”
“Come on Simon, you’ve had a shitty day, why don’t we just go somewhere and talk about it? Or just get drunk and not talk about it? Maybe forgetting about it is exactly what you need to do?”
“That’s easier said than done!”
“Yeah, but it might be worth a try?”

We ended up in a pub round the corner from Mum’s. I got us both a pint, and we sat in the corner. Neither of us said anything for a while, we just sat sipping our beer and looking round the pub. But then Simon started to talk about what had happened, and about how unhappy he was. I felt bad, because it made me realise that I’d not been much of a brother to him, and I realised how much of a wedge Mum had driven between us because I refused to ignore Dad. I know it was awful for her when she left, but what kind of mother takes it out on their children in that way?
I asked him what he was going to do, and he seemed genuinely surprised - it hadn’t occurred to him to do anything different to what he normally did. But he clearly couldn’t go to work in that state, he really needed some help. So I managed to persuade him to go to the doctors, and even promised to go with him for support. And he had to tell Mum too - it’d only take one person to find out and that would be that - if the neighbours knew before her she’d never forgive him. I ended up promising to do it for him, as long as he went round afterwards to talk to her about it. I couldn’t persuade him to talk to Dad, but I promised myself I’d keep trying. Funny how it took something like this to get us to talk to each other, we even talked about the cottaging incident although I couldn’t quite bring myself to invite him out clubbing with me - it was hardly the time or the place, but I must try and find him some nice bloke. Hang on a minute, I haven’t even sorted one out for myself ,what was I thinking?! Oh, but I guess there was Ben. Aah, Ben, if only he was at home waiting for me….

Chapter 27 - Gay Dave, Thursday

Yesterday ended up being every kind of shit!

I knew I was tempting fate when I thought we were on top of the auditing stuff! Then in the middle of the day the temp left - she said she couldn’t cope with it, the work was too complicated and the people were hassling her. God knows who she meant, but HR came down for a bit of an inquest, which is when I came back from lunch and found Bob and Mike in full flight. Bob was blaming Mike, and Mike was claiming it was nothing to do with him at all - which is a fair point, as he’d got his own PA back why would he want to steal our temp? I’m guessing she’d spoken to Bob before she left so he had some kind of idea about what he was talking about, but it didn’t seem to make much sense. Mike got sick of being blamed for things he hadn’t done and stormed off back to his office, muttering about, “this fucking place!” Bob headed back to his and five minutes later had sent a memo requesting a meeting between me, Mike and him tomorrow morning. Oh good , there’s nothing better I like than starting the day with inter-office bickering!
I spent the rest of the afternoon going over what she’d done, trying to work out how much more needed to be sorted, and allocating it around the office. About 4.30 David knocked on the door looking very sheepish.
“Hmm, Dave, I need to speak to you.”
“This isn’t the best time David, is there any chance it could wait a day or two?”
“Well, I’m not sure. It’s just that I think it might be my fault that the temp left.”
Great, this was all I needed. It would have suited me perfectly if Mike’s team had fucked this up, and would have been the perfect reason to get a new PA just for our department instead of this sharing nonsense. If it turns out someone on my team scared her off we’re fucked. And Mike will never let me here the last of it. Shit.
“OK David, I don’t want to hear this, but you better sit down and tell me what happened.”
“Well, it was only meant as a joke….”
What followed was a tale of bored blokes in an office getting their kicks by winding up the temp. Apparently they’ve specially photocopied pictures of their own arses just for such and occasion. And asking the temp to copy and laminate a selection of them might not have been the smartest idea, especially when they used an old Post-it note from Mike as the instruction. Fuckwits.
“How could you be so fucking stupid? This isn’t school you know! You know we’re on the verge of an important audit and if it goes badly we’re fucked. And I mean properly fucked. I mean sackings across the board and an accounts company replacing all of us. You stupid fucking twat!”
“Sorry Dave, it was only a joke!”
“A joke? You amaze me. How old are you? Too fucking old to be photocopying your spotty arse! Now, who else knows about this?”
“Just me, Jed and Tom.”
“Right, don’t tell anyone. This isn’t going to blow over. Bob wants a meeting about it tomorrow. If Mike gets wind of this you’re fucked and there’s nothing I can do to help you. Although why I’d want to is anyone’s guess. Now get out of my fucking sight and do something useful”
Oh shit.
I spent the rest of the day wondering what to do. Should I protect the stupid fucker and hope the whole situation blows over? Or sacrifice him just to put an end to the trouble? I felt like I ought to protect my department, but in doing so we’d really shoot ourselves in the foot. I hope to God this blows over.

By the time I got home my head was spinning and I needed to clear it. Dancing would have been good, or drinking for that matter, but I was a bit short of mates who were up for that kind of thing on a Wednesday night. Danny was out with Todd and had left a note telling me not to worry if he didn’t come back tonight. Jammy git.
So I made myself a G&T, got out of my work clothes and got on the computer. Within a few minutes I was chatting to three or four potential playmates, and within half an hour I had someone on their way round. There was just enough time to jump in the shower, tidy the bedroom and make myself look seductive. Actually, seductive was the last thing I needed to look - we both knew why he was coming round, who was I kidding.
An hour later there was no sign of him. Apparently he only lived round the corner, so he should have taken no time at all to get round. The fucker had stood me up! I went back online to see if I could find him, but there was no sign, and everyone else I’d been chatting to had gone as well - clearly they’d got themselves sorted for the evening, so it looked like I’d be spending it on my own. Damn. I hate Wednesday’s.

Thursday turned out to be not much better either!

I headed to work, still unsure about what I was going to do. I’d decided I was going to wait and see how both Bob and Mike were behaving - if they’d slept on it and agreed the whole thing was bollocks I’d probably just let it lie, but if things got nasty I’d have no choice but to throw David to the lions.
I was doing the usual morning stuff - post, emails, catching up with phone calls - when Jim phoned to say he was at a police station, waiting to pick up Simon. What in God’s name can that be about? Simon doesn’t do anything wrong, I’d be surprised if he’d ever broken a law in his life. Something must have happened to him, he sometimes had victim written all over him.
I wanted to phone Nick, but Jim said not to, as it’d only panic their mother, which wouldn’t be a pretty sight. So I told him to ring me and got on with my work, slightly distracted though - what can he have done? Thankfully the meeting was called off, perhaps they both realised that now wasn’t the time, although when I saw Mike in the corridor he looked like thunder, so I doubt we’ve heard the last of it.
Jim finally rang just before lunch - he’d been with Simon all morning, who was apparently in a bit of a state. He was nervous about leaving him on his own, but had to get back to work for a meeting, so he wondered if I’d go over and see him? My first thought was to tell him I couldn’t and to get Nick to do it, but they rub each other up the wrong way so it’d only make things worse. I made a quick mental check of everything I had to do in the afternoon and decided it could all wait, so I said yes, and as soon as it was lunchtime made my excuses and left.
I grabbed a cab, not fancying the ridiculous bus journey to Simon’s, and by the time I got there Jim had gone. Simon finally came to the door, looking like shit. He was still wearing a suit jacket despite the fact they’d been home for hours, and he looked like he’d not long stopped crying.
We went up to the flat, and sat down. I didn’t know what to say, so I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t, just sat there staring into space. This wasn’t going to get us anywhere. I toyed with the idea of making tea, but the coffee table was littered with cups so that had obviously been Jim’s plan too. In the end I just put my hand on his arm and asked him if he wanted to tell me what had happened. I thought he might be up to it as he’d obviously spent all morning talking to Jim, but he just started crying, so I gave him a hug until he stopped. Then he held my hand and started telling me the whole story.
When I thought he’d finished he said,
“but there’s something else. I didn’t tell Jim, he might not have understood, but I know you will.”
It was only after he’d finished telling me about his incident in the toilets that it occurred to me that I should be slightly insulted that he would think I’d understand - is that what he thought I did all the time?! It was hard to know what to say - he was clearly going through a bad patch, and sometimes one bad thing seems to attract another, until you’re in the middle of a cycle you can’t escape from. I just hoped he was going to be strong enough to ride it out, although judging from what I’d seen I hardly thought so.
It was getting late and I’d not eaten. I was guessing that he hadn’t either, so I suggested I go make us some sandwiches. But once he realised what the time was he got in a bit of a panic - he was supposed to be going to his Mum’s for a birthday tea. I just told him to cancel it - he was hardly in a fit state for cake and presents, and he certainly wouldn’t manage to put on a brave face. But he said he’d have to go - it’d be easier to explain to his Mum in person than on the phone, especially if Nick was there to help calm her down. I made her promise not to mention the cottaging - there are just some things you shouldn’t tell your Mum, especially not on your birthday!